Greetings from a picnic bench outside a Farm Shop. I am writing this on my phone, so forgive any errors.
I have an hour to spare before I pick up my daughter from school. My Wife is visiting her Mum in hospital as she has been readmitted for the third time! That's a story for another day.
The sun is out now and I'm getting rather hot in my long sleeved shirt and jumper. I was in all honesty expecting rain today. Not to be the one who complains about the weather, I shall endure it. Seriously, I do love the sun, it always makes me able to smile easier.
The air conditioning unit behind me is flapping its flaps every second and it's almost therapeutic.
The dark cloud
What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal
Albert Pike
After going to see my Mum in the funeral home on Sunday with my Son, I've been in a limbo state. Not really moving forward, just staying static. She looked good, considering she is no longer alive. It was a surreal experience and it didn't give me the closure I sought. You see, she wasn't there in that room. I hear people speak about shells so often when talking about a dead body, but it's true. There in front of me was a shell, some thing that my Mum had borrowed for 84 years. She no longer needed it, so she left it. I couldn't really see my Mum in that shell, ok it resembled her but it wasn't her. Rather, it was no longer her.
I often think about faith, and what a death may feel like for someone who has it (faith). To believe that this person who they lived will be flying high above the earth or meeting long gone relatives at some beautiful gates, or even popping past your house in the form of a butterfly or bird. That must be comforting. I guess.
I'm very nearly at the final throws of planning mum's last day. A few more emails and it's organised. Maybe, closure comes after that day?
Take care, hug your loved ones, forgive.
Lee
X
Sending you a big hug 🤗 I hope Ruth’s Mum is ok xx